Adultery & Fornication, Masturbation Scenario

What Does the New Testament Say?

Adultery & Fornication

"What"?

"What happens when two people in their 40s or 50s, both divorced due to adultery, find each other after their previous marriages have ended? Do they need to marry before engaging in sexual relations to stay in line without violating Christian sexual morality?

According to the teachings of the New Testament, the answer is yes.

In Matthew 19:9,

Jesus addresses Christian divorce teachings, explaining that divorce is permitted in cases of sexual immorality (adultery).

This would mean that the man in this situation, having been divorced due to his wife’s infidelity, is free to remarry without violating Scripture’s guidelines on marriage and sexual ethics.

"However, the key point here is that, according to the New Testament, sexual relations should only occur within the confines of marriage, even for those who have been divorced and are seeking companionship."

1 Corinthians 7:2,

sexual relations should occur only within marriage. What if two individuals are dating and wish to have a sexual relationship, they must first enter into a biblical marriage.

This is a common question about relationships, remarriage, and the New Testament teachings on sexual ethics. To understand this, we need to consider a few key points:

Divorce and Remarriage in the New Testament

The New Testament does provide some allowance for divorce, particularly in cases of sexual immorality. In Matthew 19:9, Jesus says:

"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

This passage suggests that if a spouse commits sexual immorality (adultery), the offended party is not bound to remain in the marriage and can seek divorce. It’s important to note, however, that even though divorce is permitted in these circumstances,
it is not the ideal.

God’s design for marriage is one of permanence, and ideally, couples should seek reconciliation and healing.

Relationships Within The Dating Realm, Ages 40+

The question also asks whether a man and woman, both of whom have been married before and are in their 40s to 60s, must marry before engaging in sexual relations, in order to avoid upsetting Jesus. According to the New Testament, sexual relations are reserved for marriage.

However, when considering people who have tried and failed at marriage, and who are now in the later years of life, the situation is different. These individuals are less likely to remarry, even though they are still human and still yearn for affection — both emotional and physical — and don’t want to live out their years alone.

I was recently asked:

"I’m 55, and she’s 60. We both have pheromones, meaning, even without touching one another, we are aroused. God made us this way, yet He also set rules for us to follow."

The person went on to say:

"I understand the rules if I were 19 and a virgin, or if I were married. But why do I have to get married, just so I can engage with my girlfriend in a physical relationship? We are not sleeping with multiple, it would be a monogamous relationship. I’m afraid if I keep telling her we need to marry in order to be intimate at these ages, she’ll just leave. She doesn’t want to get married again — not for the third time." She doesn't want to be alone.

As the author, I wasn’t sure how to respond. But after thinking about it, it made sense.

Does anyone have thoughts or guidance on this situation? Any comments or insights would be very helpful.

Paul makes this clear:

"Paul makes this clear in passages like 1 Corinthians 7:2, where he writes, 'But because of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.'"

In this context, sexual relations are viewed as a good gift from God, but they are to be practiced within the confines of marriage. Jesus' teachings on lust in Matthew 5:27-28 also affirm that sex outside the marriage relationship is sinful.

Masturbation Scenario:

"The New Testament doesn’t explicitly address masturbation, but the principles outlined regarding sexual immorality and self-control are relevant."

I have no clue as to why there are so many YouTubers creating videos that outline

"Masturbation will send you to hell" when clearly there is not direct link except by way of losing yourself to the "Demon Called Lust."

We are all made to go through puberty, so we all go through that phase of checking out what's going on down there and the feelings that come with it.

"God didn’t design this phase of life as a trap, but rather as a natural part of human development."

Here’s what I took away from reading the New Testament:

Masturbation, in itself, is not a sin. Let’s be real—we’re human. I believe it can actually serve as a safeguard against temptation. When left unchecked, sexual tension can build and distort our thoughts. Without a healthy outlet, that tension can twist into obsessive thinking—triggered by a glance, a scent, or a passing attraction.

Unchecked, those thoughts can spiral and intensify until something breaks—often in a way that leads to guilt or regret. In that light, self-control and understanding our bodies may actually protect us from falling into deeper spiritual traps.
Which can lead to deeper harmful implications.

Here’s Where Masturbation Can Become a Sin:

If someone isn’t grounded in God’s Word or doesn’t have a relationship with Christ, the act of masturbation can quickly take a darker turn. Without spiritual tools to guard your mind, the thoughts that build up before release—what we might call the “wetting of the dream”—can begin to twist.

At first, it might seem harmless. But over time, those thoughts can wander into places that are far from righteous. Arousal can become tied to distorted desires, and lust takes root in ways that corrupt the heart.
I don’t think I need to spell it out any further—those who’ve been there know exactly what I mean.

If masturbation leads you to "lustful thoughts" don't do it.

• If masturbation leads you to thinking of other woman than your wife, don't do it.
• If masturbation leads you to thinking of yourself being with same sex, don't do it.
• If the above happens, keep your head in the word and ask for understanding and it will come.
• If your on a business trip and you need to masturbate or go to the bar, masturbate.
• If your married and masturbate while thinking of only your wife, I have found no lines crossed.

"Masturbation becomes problematic when it leads to lustful thoughts or fantasies that are sinful in nature. If it stirs up desires that are contrary to God’s design for sexuality, it’s a matter of the heart, not just the action."

I believe "Masturbating is healthy" for the body, mind and relationships. But only if you are in control of the thoughts you have to facilitate the deal.

"If you have insights or disagree with this interpretation, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below. Please include any relevant scripture from the New Testament to support your point."

Or else it's just gibberish.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, yes—according to the New Testament, if two individuals desire to engage in sexual intimacy, they are called to do so within the covenant of marriage. Marriage sets apart the sexual relationship, aligning it with God’s intended design for human connection and holiness.

Sex, as described in Scripture, is a sacred act—meant to be shared within the framework of a committed, God-centered union. So, to avoid grieving the heart of Jesus by stepping outside His teachings, the couple should marry. This applies regardless of age or past experiences; the sanctity of marriage remains the standard.

That said, while this is the understanding I’ve found through Scripture, I can’t help but wonder—if Author GoldWiz were to ask Jesus this question today, would His answer carry a deeper nuance? Perhaps one shaped by love, grace, and context we can’t fully comprehend.

The question is as follows:

Two people, both in their 40s to 60s, with grown children, divorced on the grounds of adultery, have now found someone they get along with and who helps them avoid loneliness. What is the point of marriage if they have already failed at it before?

This does not apply to individuals in this age range who simply want to have sex with anyone after being married for 40 years to the same person, with the intention of "sowing their wild oats." In my view, that is wrong.